Tag Archives: Human

“Is There Anything Worse Than Being Ordinary”

Someone said this to me recently and in a way it made my heart ache.  In my opinion, being ordinary is much underrated.  It is what most of us are and if you are your own brand of  ‘ordinary’ you are ahead of the game.  you don’t have to be famous or fabulous or extraordinary to be special and wonderful.  Trying to be the best, the smartest, the prettiest, most talented, most creative, – the ‘most’ of anything is a recipe for disappointment, self criticism, self-hatred and low self-esteem.  If you are always comparing yourself to others you will always fall short in some way.  To be the best that you can be is quite enough, even though that is a cliché.  Labeling yourself as ‘ordinary’ in a pejorative way is so very sad.  All we have to do is look around to know that fame, fortune, success, and talent does not guarantee happiness. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Observations on my work with Couples continued

Anger & the Art of Fighting

When you are together with another human being, anger, annoyance & irritation – whether expressed or unspoken, are only natural.  After all, we are not clones of each other no matter how well we mesh.  But how a couple fights is key.  Most of the couples I see don’t know how to fight in ways that resolve issues rather than exacerbate them.  Then there are others who don’t want to resolve issues but want to be ‘right’.  Some fight almost as a way of life.  They will argue about which side of the refrigerator a magnet belongs on.  Although some claim that fighting is positive because it adds spice and makes the sex better, I have not found that to be the case with those who come to me.  Rather they are hurt and exhausted, drained of the positive feelings that brought them together to begin with.  A major part of my work with couples is to help them learn how to fight better.  This and learning how to communicate are key factors in helping make a relationship work.

More to follow.

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