Anger & the Art of Fighting

When you are together with another human being, anger, annoyance & irritation – whether expressed or unspoken, are only natural.  After all, we are not clones of each other no matter how well we mesh.  But how a couple fights is key.  Most of the couples I see don’t know how to fight in ways that resolve issues rather than exacerbate them.  Then there are others who don’t want to resolve issues but want to be ‘right’.  Some fight almost as a way of life.  They will argue about which side of the refrigerator a magnet belongs on.  Although some claim that fighting is positive because it adds spice and makes the sex better, I have not found that to be the case with those who come to me.  Rather they are hurt and exhausted, drained of the positive feelings that brought them together to begin with.  A major part of my work with couples is to help them learn how to fight better.  This and learning how to communicate are key factors in helping make a relationship work.

More to follow.