Acceptance

We are all different and no one is perfect. You will never get exactly what you want, but hopefully you will get mostly what you need.  How you fold the laundry or whether you can make a perfect omelet should not be a major factor as to whether to be together.  Fairness is very important, but it’s also important to remember that what you each bring to the relationship matters in weighing both the good and the bad.

W. could not screw in a light bulb and was the most mechanically inept man R. had ever met.  He was not the macho guy she had always dreamed about.   He could never find anything in the refrigerator and would always say “where is the ….”  R. would scream “just move something and you will find it”.  This was not an uncommon occurrence but it mattered not one bit because the warmth, love, and caretaking that W. showed R. made up for it in spades.  But she could have thought “if he really cared he wouldn’t burden me so much. He would remember all of what I said/needed/wanted”.  It’s a matter of weighing the plusses & minuses and hoping that the scales balance more often than not in the positives or are mostly even.